Are We More Connected Than Ever…or Completely Alone?

“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.” – C.S. Lewis

You know, there was a time in my life when I was pretty much friendless. I mean, I had friends—great ones, actually—but they all lived far away. I had just moved to a new city where the only person I knew was my husband, and, well, he was buried in Physical Therapy school. Meanwhile, I was working a remote job that didn’t exactly lend itself to making new connections.

We NEED Connections:

I tried. I made a few friends with some of the other PT wives, but honestly? They weren’t really my people. And yet, I still forced myself to hang out with them. Looking back, I can’t help but wonder—why? Especially now, when I cherish my alone time so much.

The answer is simple: humans need connection. It’s wired into us. Even when the fit isn’t perfect, we seek out relationships because we thrive on belonging, conversation, and shared experiences.

So, this month’s Elevate Livin’ Life newsletter is all about the “Connect” bucket—one of the five pillars of health (Eat, Sleep, Think, Connect, Train) that contributes to overall wellness. Let’s talk about why connection matters and how we can be more intentional about building it.

Always Connected, Always Alone?:
Truthfully, I don’t stress too much about the Connect bucket. I’m beyond grateful to have a small squad of close, deep, ride-or-die friendships—people I can dive into emotional conversations with, push my physical limits alongside, and just be with. It took time to build, but now that I have these relationships, I’m like hell yeah.

But even though connection isn’t something I personally struggle with, I find myself fascinated (and honestly, a little freaked out) by this bucket when I think about my kids. After reading The Anxious Generation this past summer (highly recommend, by the way!), I was blown away by how much our youth is suffering from a lack of real connection—and how screens are making it worse.

We live in a world where we are “always connected” but rarely truly connected. Research backs this up—one study found that people who spend more than two hours per day on social media are twice as likely to experience feelings of social isolation compared to those who use it for less than 30 minutes. 

And then there’s video games. But in my research, I was actually relieved to find that not all video games are bad and playing video games isn’t necessarily bad. Some games actually help kids build friendships, teamwork skills, empathy, and even a sense of community. As with everything screen-related, it’s about balance—making sure it doesn’t replace offline relationships, school, physical health, and (my personal favorite) outside time!

This is an ongoing battle in our household, especially as my kids are now obsessed with Minecraft. (Help!) Some days, I want to throw the tablets away and shout, “NO SCREENS FOR YOU!” Other days, I get it—I see the value in decompression, and hey, I grew up playing Zelda, Mario, and Donkey Kong. Who wants to battle me on Koopa Troopa Beach??! 

So, if you’ve found healthy ways to balance screen time in your family, especially when it comes to Minecraft (seriously, send help!), I’d love to hear what works for you. Let’s figure this out together.

The Importance of Alone Time & How It Benefits You:Okay, I feel a little guilty saying this, but sometimes… I’d rather go alone than go with my besties.  I don’t know if it’s getting older, being a mom, or just reaching a new level of comfort with solo adventures (which, by the way, took work—happy to share tips!), but I actually CRAVE alone time now. I love my friends and always miss catching up with them, but there’s just something about hiking alone in the mountains with my furry pup, a good podcast, and miles of uninterrupted thinking time that recharges my soul. A lot of these newsletters? They come from those solo hikes. My life goals, business plans, and biggest ideas? Also born from these moments of quiet. So while we absolutely need connection with others, I also believe we need connection with ourselves. And science backs this up:  People who spend regular time alone experience less anxiety and improved emotional balance.  Just 10 minutes of solitude a day—whether it’s deep breathing, stretching, or reading—can lower cortisol levels and improve sleep patterns

How to Incorporate More Alone Time into a Busy Life:

 Schedule It – Just like workouts or social events, block out solo time on your calendar.

 Do Something You Love – Read, hike, journal, or just sit quietly with your thoughts. Turn off the phone for a bit—even if you love listening to podcasts (I do too!), try pure silence for a few minutes. In The Comfort Crisis, Michael Easter dives into how saturated we are with noise and distractions—and how turning it off allows for true growth, self-understanding, and ultimately, more happiness.

 Say No Without Guilt – Declining plans for self-care isn’t selfish—it actually makes you a better parent, friend, and partner. Taking time for yourself = showing up better for others.

 Go on a Solo Adventure – Take yourself on a coffee date, plan a solo trip, or even a weekend getaway. This has been huge for me. It actually started not because I wanted alone time, but because my schedule wouldn’t align with my besties’ (mom life, ya know?!). Instead of skipping the adventure, I just went alone.
I’ll never forget my first solo backcountry hike—it was just six miles, but I felt soooo far out there. And when a random backpacker casually mentioned that a bear had been hanging around my destination lake every day…  Let’s just say, that was a whole new level of solo adventure!

 Start Small – Even 5-10 minutes of quiet, intentional solitude makes a difference. TODAY, I challenge you to put your phone down, step outside, and take a 10-minute walk—no distractions, just you.

How to Build Better Relationships with Friends &Family:

Okay, I’ve shared a lot about the importance of alone time, but let’s not forget—this month’s newsletter is really about the power of connection. So, let’s talk about actionable ways to strengthen friendships and make sure you’re investing in the right people.

Because here’s the thing—not all relationships are worth nurturing.  In my younger years, I poured time and energy into people who, honestly, weren’t really my people. And now? Well, let’s be blunt—I don’t have time to cultivate the wrong friendships. Life is too busy and too short for that. So, here’s what I recommend:

 Prioritize the Right People

Ask yourself:
 Who brings value to your life? Who uplifts you, supports you, and makes your life better?
 Who do you bring value to? Just because someone isn’t a huge part of your life doesn’t mean they don’t need you—sometimes being a good friend is about showing up for others too.

Friendships should be mutually enriching—if it feels one-sided or draining, it might be time to reevaluate how much energy you’re giving.

 Find Ways to Combine Friendship & Life’s To-Do List

We’re all busy. But connection doesn’t have to come at the expense of your packed schedule. So, where can you kill two birds with one stone?

 Walking the dog? Call a friend with a pup and walk together.
 Working out at home? Text a friend who missed the gym and do a quick session together.
 Errands to run? Invite a friend to tag along for a post-grocery store coffee catch-up.

It doesn’t have to be some grand plan—small moments of connection add up over time. Even a text here or there can go a long way to remind people you’re thinking about them. 

 Make “Friendship Traditions” Happen

Some friendships don’t fit into the daily or weekly routine—and that’s okay. Find a way to make it work.

 Annual trips – I have friends I rarely see throughout the year, but we’ve got an annual trip tradition that guarantees real, quality time together.
 Out-of-state friendships? – My bestie lives in Colorado, so every year, we plan at least one trip together. (And honestly? I think I see her more than some of my McCall friends!)

The key is intentionality—you can’t always make more time, but you can make time for the people who matter.

Let’s Talk About LOVE. 

Okay, enough about being alone and about friends—let’s talk about LOVVVVEEEEEE. 

Back in college, I took some interpersonal communication classes, and let me tell you—I was HOOKED. These weren’t just theories; they were actionable steps to having better relationships. And honestly? I remember thinking, EVERYONE should have to take these classes because why are we not taught this stuff sooner?!

Two of my favorite gurus in the relationship world are:
 Gary Chapman (The Five Love Languages)
 John Gottman (research-backed relationship wizard)

One of Gottman’s simplest yet most powerful concepts is “6 Hours to a Better Relationship.” It’s a straightforward, science-backed framework that helps improve connection without massive time commitments.

So, check out the pretty infographic below—hopefully, you’ll find a few nuggets of wisdom to help strengthen your relationships!

Can I Help You Make a Friend?:

Alright, I’m scared to put this out there—because once I do, well… now it’s real. And if it’s real, then I’ll feel held accountable (eek!).

But after years of thinking about this, I’m finally considering a few exciting side passion projects, and I’d LOVE your input:

 Group Trips

I love the outdoors—could ya tell?  And I really love sharing outdoor adventures with others. I also (as you may have gathered from this newsletter) believe deeply in the importance of connection and know that making new friends as an adult is HARD.

So… I’ve been toying with the idea of hosting a group trip in McCall (and maybe someday, other places too!). Would this interest you? If so, let me know—email me back or take the quick survey below!

 Blogging About McCall Outdoors

I love to write, and I’ve been considering starting a blog dedicated to all things McCall, especially outdoor adventures. Would you find value in this? Would you read it? Let me know!

 Community Groups
I’ve also thought about starting a monthly meetup group—a chance to get together for outdoor activities, the occasional dinner/coffee date, and just connect with like-minded people.

Would you be interested? If so, reply and let me know!

Until then, check out this previous newsletter on How to Find Your People:
 Find Your People

Well, friends, as always, thank you for reading along. This little e-newsletter is something I truly love creating each month, and I hope it brings you value, laughter, or at the very least—a little happiness in your day.

And I hope that whether you are spending time alone, with your furry pets, out with besties, hubbies, wives, family, whoever it may be, you are finding adventure and joy. 

Until next time,
Kelli