“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

-Jim Rohn

In our last newsletter we discussed the importance of planning out your adventures and coordinating them with all your best buddies. But what if you don’t have any adventure buddies, yet? And if you do, are they the right buddies? Read on for ideas of how to make sure you have the right people in your corner and how to connect with more.

Who You Spend Your Time With MATTERS:
So if you’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with, then it’s important to take stock of those you are surrounded with on a daily basis. 

David Goggins’ book, Never Finished discusses this idea in one of his chapters. Two of my favorite pointers were:

• Change Is Okay
  • Your high school bestie may always be in your life but they may not always be your bestie. And that’s okay! And sometimes that’s a good thing too. What I mean by this is, sometimes you can outgrow this person and your relationship with them could be holding you back to achieve your new goals. 
• Mom & Dad Aren’t Always Your Biggest Supporters
  • They love you. They want you to succeed and reach all your goals. But they care more for your survival and if you come to them with some big scary adventure you’re about to do, they might unconsciously (or consciously) talk you out of it. So be aware what their motives might be behind their advice. And sometimes you need those people around you that will push you to do those big scary things. There’s nothing wrong with what mom and pop are doing but just be aware of it! 

There are really interesting studies out there that talk about your peer group and the influence they have over your life. If you surround yourself with unhealthy individuals, you have a much higher chance to be unhealthy too. So take some time to think about your friends and family that make you be a better person. Focus on those relationships. The other ones, can you help them become a better version of themselves? If not, it doesn’t mean you should cut them out completely (although some say that’s okay to do) but perhaps just invest more of your time in the other healthier relationships. Figure out what YOU need.

Relationships MATTER:
There’s a new book based on an old and ongoing study from Harvard that discusses that “good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Period.” -Robert Waldinger. If you don’t have time to read the book then you can watch his successful TEDx talk HERE. Otherwise, my favorite takeaways from the study/talk are: 

• Social connections are what keep us happier AND healthier longer! 
• It’s not about the number of friends, but the quality of those close relationships that matter. 

So find the quality relationships, that support your lifestyle and goals and then make sure you are taking the time to maintain them!  It could cost you your health and/or happiness later in life if you don’t.

Now, how do you find quality relationships? Keep reading! 

Finding Your People:
My hubby and I have moved a lot in our adult life and I will say it’s not always easy making new friends. Over the years though here are some ways I’ve learned to connect with people: 

• Gyms
  • Truth be told it’s been a long time since I’ve been in a gym other than CrossFit so I’m not sure how it works making friends at other types of gyms, but I will say the majority of all my friends in the past 10 years have come from our CrossFit gym. It did take some time but when you suffer through workout after workout with people, you start to connect! And social events at the gym helped us meet even more people too! 
• Parenting Places
  • Library at StoryTime, Mommy & Me Preschool Class, Other Kiddo related activities and places. 
• Meet up Groups
  • Create an account HERE. 
  • Find the groups that interest you and get out there with those people! 
• Facebook Groups
  • There are FB groups for all different types of hobbies! So go find one in your area and start posting to meet up. Don’t be shy! And if there isn’t one that interests you, then it sounds like you need to create one. 🙂  Some of my favorites:
    • Valley County Ladies Social
    • Idaho Hiking & Backpacking and/or Idaho Hiking Community
    • Moms of McCall 
    • McCall Trail Running
• Strava
  • Find others doing the same outdoor activities as you and ask to meet up and do that! 
• Join a nonprofit
• Ask the Professionals
  • Whatever your hobby, you most likely have a store or expert you go to, so ask them! For example, if you like mountain biking, connect with the mountain biking clubs in your area and/or ask the bike shops if they know of group rides. 
• Take a Class or a Course
  • If you’re taking a class or course in an area of interest there is a good chance you’ll find similar people. I recently did an avalanche course and met some cool peeps I hope to ski again with someday. 

Get a Dog:
Okay, be careful here. Don’t just go get a dog because you’re lonely. Make sure you actually have the capacity to take care of it. My current pup, Ember, is my best bud but when we first got her, it was a LOT of work. I’m not talking the normal puppy work, I’m talking about intense training AND medical issues that I never could have foreseen.

So make sure your lifestyle allows for the work you have to put into with a dog. And if it does allow it, then oh my gosh it’s the best!! My best adventure people are either other mommas with hectic schedules or my husband, who if I’m out adventuring is usually at home watching the kiddos. So these days, my dog is my number one adventure buddy and I’m so grateful to have her every time I go out for long solo runs in the backcountry. 

• Need the science to back this up? google “do dogs make us happier” and there are loads of studies to back up the fact that pets help us physically and mentally. 🙂 

Business Owners-Find the RIGHT People:

This study linked HERE talks about how having friends at work is key to employee engagement and retention, job success, and business profitability. 

So if it’s important to have good friends at work, how do you go about doing that?

• Figure out what the culture of your business/team is first, then target to those individuals for your next hire. 
• When you narrow your applicants down, have your team do a group interview. 
• Do keep in mind though, that sometimes having a diverse team can be important as they’ll help you think in new ways and grow. 
• Go DEEP on references. Don’t just call the references a person provides, but ask that reference who else they know that you could talk to about this candidate. Then ask that next person. 

And not to put the pressure on but, having the right people in place at work can make or break your business. 

• One study showed that the average cost of a bad hiring decision is at least 30 percent of the individual’s first year expected earnings. 
• Hey Realtors, do you need leverage but hiring overwhelms you? We know a great resource that handles the hiring process for you and we’re happy to connect you with them!
  • Or you could always just hire us at Elevate TC Services. 🙂 

I’m so grateful to have FRIENDS and the RIGHT people on my team at Elevate. I genuinely want to hang out with Melissa and Danielle inside and outside of work as they’re amazing people. I feel so lucky to be in business with them every day! 

TeamKT:

I’m no relationship expert and I don’t have the perfect relationship but I do know this, having the right spouse or life partner in place is a huge contributor to your happiness. And like we talked above, make sure it’s someone that aligns with what your life goals are.

I’m so grateful that when I met my husband he pushed me to become a much better version of myself and he still does to this day. When we met, I was young and I liked comfort, I liked the “known”, I liked type 1 fun. All that is just fine and I still like those things. But he pushed me outside my comfort zones in many ways that I’m forever a better person because of it. He encouraged me to check out this thing called CrossFit. He pushed us to hike the NH 48 in 12 weeks. He pushed me to start my own TC business. He pushes me daily to become a better version of myself and I’m grateful I have him by my side to tackle life with. 

If that isn’t your spouse, and they are instead more of a comfort source, that’s okay too! Just go find those friends that push you and then come home to that partner to snuggle on the couch with. Both are very needed and important!

Lastly, I talk a lot about friends that push you to become better versions of yourself and most of the time for me, that means in a physical way (hiking, biking, CrossFit, skiing, etc.), but if that’s not your thing, that’s okay too! Just figure out what YOU want in life first, then find those friends that support those goals.